Okay so am I the only one as a kid that tipped their teams on who would win a physical fight between the two mascots? Back in those days, Tigers, Panthers and Bears were pretty hard to tip against.

It is a shame we no longer have the Seagulls because they’d be handed the wooden spoon every freaking year.

And yeah I hear you saying, “what about the Cronulla Sharks?”

Well we can get to that shortly because there are definitely pros and cons to being a big mean shark and on the flipside, a fish out of water.

Making the following predictions even more exciting is a team named the ‘Storm’.

Let the science of mascot tipping begin!

SHARK vs COWBOY

Okay so here is where it gets interesting for the Sharks and there are a couple of rules you must abide by if you are tip in the way of the idiot, child samurai. To conclude a winner between a shark and a cowboy in a battle to the death, you must break the fight down in two different venues. On land and in the ocean.

Ocean:
For a cowboy to defeat the shark in the shark’s own backyard (or ocean in this case), the cowboy has a few different options. The most obvious is the old “punch the shark in the face” technique which has worked for others in the past. The shark wins in the ocean on points but the cowboy has a slim chance of survival. The old comeback, ‘’but what if it’s a small shark and the cowboy is on a horse and they’re in a shallow river?”, doesn’t stick, never will.

Land:

Not much of a fight, really. Cowboy wins. The shark would pretty much die immediately.

Decision: Cowboys to win on Friday night by 10 points.

STORM v VIKING

How the bloody hell does a viking beat a storm?

From the sky:
Any kid will tell you a storm can just sit up there and throw lightning from the clouds. But the Achilles Heel of the storm is it isn’t as bad as you what you think. Sure the viking may get wet but it’s pretty easy for a viking to shack up for the night, put the kettle on and kick back on the recliner. For boredom only, the Storm get the points on this one.

Viking ship:

A viking only has one chance… actually, no they don’t. It would be worse for a viking out on their ship in a storm than inside on the recliner. Put the kettle back on, Victor.

Decision: Storm to win on Saturday night by 16 points.

*Kane Austin is a man child with too much time on his hands and is currently looking for love.