BY STAFF WRITERS

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the NRL, not a club was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

It’s hard to believe but 2016 is almost done and dusted, in the books, kaput. But that also means Christmas is upon us and what better way to get in the spirit of gifts, beer, afternoon naps and family biffs (sounds like my place all year round) than a wish list of what your club wants from Santa!

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals.

Eels: Let’s hope Parramatta signed up for Chrisco because they need heaps. A competent board of directors might be a good start.

Warriors: With all the flying the Warriors do and the excuses that come with it, maybe Santa can rent out his slay in the footy season?

Broncos: What do you get a club that has everything? Perhaps we could fill Scrooge McBennett’s sack (come on, head out of the gutter) with some coke and a smile.

Sea Eagles: A new stadium. Can you spell d-u-m-p?

Wests Tigers: A truck full of cotton wool to keep superstar James Tedesco in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBT9Z9oFLCI

Cowboys: Must feed Jason Taumalolo. What did Tyrannosaurus Rex eat?

Titans: Subscription to PornHub?

Roosters: Moore Park is starting to look like Long Bay. Dear Santa, please bring ten bed sheets, a helicopter and a change of clothes.

Knights: A feeling? A win? Something? Anything?

Panthers: Who doesn’t want a five-year plan? Clearly not your estranged uncle Phil who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney and only lobs in on Xmas Day.

Rabbitohs: Santa won’t be required at Redfern. Sam Burgess will be giving out cups of concrete to all members of the roster.

Sharks: How about a muzzle for Paul Gallen? The big fella hasn’t had a day off the radio or television since the grand final.

Dragons: Saints fans have requested no presents this year and instead will use their sack to… sack CEO Peter Doust.

Storm: There’s no Christmas at the Storm. Craig Bellamy thinks Santa is soft. Now give me 50 more laps!

Raiders: With Shannon Boyd, Junior Paulo and Dave Taylor currently at the club, the Raiders are just hoping there’s some food left for those skinny little bastards Josh Papalii, Sia Soliola and Joey Leilua.

It was brutal day out at @stromloforest 😫🏃

Watch highlights from the fitness testing in the video below. #BleedGreen pic.twitter.com/zD4SOTsJ1M

— Canberra Raiders (@RaidersCanberra) November 22, 2016

Bulldogs: Christmas Day is on a Sunday this year – they won’t be participating.