BY CURTIS WOODWARD

Dear Guinness World Records,

I am writing to you in the hopes that you will send an official judge to Allianz Stadium in Sydney on Friday 31st of March for the National Rugby League game between Sydney Roosters and Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles.

There is no doubt, lock it in, a world record will be set for this match. For you see, the NRL has just announced its draw for season 2017 and one of the new additions is a 6pm Friday timeslot. I put it to you, Mr. Guinness, that this game will set an all-time record for the least amount of people to a first grade rugby league anywhere in the world. Ever!

In a grab for television ratings and television ratings alone, somebody at the NRL thought it would be a good idea to alienate the fans – again.

You could call it the Alienational Rugby League.

Marxist theory says alienation is a condition of workers in a capitalist economy, resulting from a lack of identity with the products of their labor and a sense of being controlled or exploited.

Sound familiar?

Friday 6pm games will be the biggest failure the NRL have ever done..Crowds wise will be embarrassing

— S B (@Conigman) November 24, 2016

This will be one of the worst decisions the NRL will have ever made.

— Matt (@Matt_2607) November 24, 2016

Todd Greenberg and his minions must have thought, “6pm sounds good. If we can walk out of the office and jump in the back of our chauffeured cars, why can’t Joe Punter do the same? (sans chauffeured car).

The disconnect widens.

In round one, a rare match at Canterbury’s spiritual home of Belmore Sportsground, the Bulldogs host Cameron Smith and the Melbourne Storm in the first 6pm clash. If you’re a Bulldogs fans or even a Melbourne supporter and work in the CBD, it will take you around 55-60 minutes to get to the venue. That means you’d be thirty minutes late for kick-off if you had to leave work at 5.30pm. If you live out Campbelltown way, you won’t get to Belmore Sportsground until 6.35pm.

Rounds two and three are both in New Zealand with home games for the Warriors and Bulldogs respectively.

Penrith Panthers face Newcastle in round four at Pepper Stadium. Forget it if you’re a Knights diehard. Just to make it for kick-off you will have to leave Newcastle by 2.30pm.

But I digress, Mr. Guinness World Records.

Back to round five between the Roosters and Eagles and their leviathan-sized fan bases that Manchester United, Chicago Bulls and New York Yankees could only dream of.

It’s almost as if the NRL has shrugged their shoulders and said, “Stuff it, who cares? They’re playing it live at the pubs!”

And do you reckon the two dozen Manly tragics that would normally consider making the trip over the Harbour Bridge are going to come down in Friday afternoon traffic? It will only be 8pm when they start heading back. The traffic will be worse then!

But wait there’s more, agents of free speech.

Would rather Monday Night Footy over 6pm Friday any day for #NRL

— Joshüa SD (@JoshTungcab_) November 24, 2016

https://twitter.com/supitskurt/status/801600315678081024

In round six, Canterbury head up to Newcastle for a 6pm game at the newly named McDonald Jones Stadium (they build homes apparently).

Hey Doggies fans – question without notice. Are you willing to leave work at 2pm on a Friday, drive 160 kilometres north to see your team play?

It’s okay, don’t feel embarrassed.

Who would want to?!

When this decision is proven to be the catastrophic, disaster we all know it will be, someone will have to cop the blame.

Somebody from League Central will have to somehow explain that on their stupid little yellow notepad, they jotted down more “pros” than “cons”.

And then he shall be sacked for one of the most short-sighted, ludicrous scheduling decisions in the history of rugby league.

Get ready, Guinness World Records.

Get ready.

@woodward_curtis