BY STAFF WRITERS

Week Two of the 2020 NRL Finals are almost upon us – how bloody good!

While the action on the field is going to be pulsating and thrilling until the final moments, entertaining your guests is just as important. If you’re one of those that have invited friends and family over, you must abide by these commandments.

Stick solid to these instructions or face an NRL Finals party nightmare.

And while doing your COVID-19 thing!

Keep clear of the bandwagon AFL bloke:

Every group has them. That mate whose been a league fan his whole life but suddenly becomes an expert of the other game at finals time because he’s been to St. Kilda once. And when he’s not spending his time drinking craft beers and spruiking his new flat in Glebe, he’s probably reminding everyone how good the Lions are. Brush him. Move him along. Nobody has time for that.

The newly-single loose cannon:

Beware the early starter and be doubly aware if he’s just split from the missus. If he’s there with two bottles of Jack and you haven’t even had time to roll the barbecue out of the shed, then you’re in for a big night.

Who cares if we don’t understand ‘Freddyball’? All New South Wales wants is another Blues series victory

By kick-off, he’s probably going to be absolutely munted and braining you to let him bring over some “friends” off Tinder.

Your mother-in-law:

Does not need to be there. For any reason. Her absence should have already been spoken about with your partner.

The Queenslander that’s never been to Queensland:

He was born in Sydney. Played at the local footy club. Went to your school. But old mate still goes for the Broncos and the Maroons. Why?

Keep your mates away from the BBQ:

It’s your barbecue for a reason and there’s always one or two who think they have the right to touch it. Back away from the six burner, mate.

Kids:

Take a survey earlier in the week. It’s either all-in or no kids at all. Generally speaking, footy time is better spent without those pesky little bottom feeders.

A punter put down $15,570 on Penrith as they led the Roosters 28-10… then all hell broke loose

You want a relaxed environment so if the neighbours decide to bring their little bundles of joy over and there isn’t another kid in sight, move them through the house to the backyard and straight back out the side gate.

Ice:

Two bags from each guest should be sufficient. No South Sydney supporter jokes here, people.

The guy with no grog:

Usually the first one with his hand in the fridge but fails to bring any of his own. A nice little get square for him is a full night of choirs. Like fulfilling all requests for drinks service.

Game-time is show time:

Once the referee blows the whistle for kick-off, that’s it. The game takes priority over everything or any queries your other half may have. All questions can be evaluated and discussed at half-time with an option in your favour.