Random Souths Guy: What you didn’t know!

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BY STAFF WRITERS

He has become the thing of a legend – a hero among those that dare to dream. He is Random Souths Guy and he’s coming to a footy game near you.

Okay so maybe only Rabbitohs fans actually appreciate Random Souths Guy’s work. Whether it’s North Queensland playing Brisbane in Townsville, New Zealand Warriors against Melbourne in Auckland or Canberra facing the Gold Coast Titans at GIO Stadium, Random Souths Guy makes the trip. Mysteriously, Random Souths Guy has also been known to appear at two different venues at the same time (spooky). While most fans shake their heads and offer carefully crafted abuse for wearing a Rabbitohs jersey at a game not involving the Bunnies, Random Souths Guy goes about his work.

Some call him a wizard, a shapeshifter or a teleporter.

But who is Random Souths Guy?

We decided we needed to get to the bottom of this tale.

 

Evidence suggests Random Souths Guy may have walked with dinosaurs

 

Speaking exclusively to The81stMinute, a Random South Guy historian who has asked to remain anonymous due to fears of reprisals, has agreed to speak to us.

And what a story this man tells us.

“Random Souths Guy has been around for eons but it’s only just recently people have noticed more sightings of him,” the source says.

“We think climate changes are drawing Random Souths Guy out – hence the sightings.

 

If you believe they put a Random Souths Guy on the moon

 

“Early research suggested Random Souths Guy first appeared in his jersey at the Melbourne Cup in 1908 but we now know that Random Souths Guy goes further back than that.”

Speaking from his home in Redfern, a shrine dedicated to RSG sightings, the historian opens up a small wooden box and inside it is an old black and white photograph of a set of bones discovered by archaeologists in Nevada.

“That photo was taken just outside Nevada in the 1940’s and it clearly shows a Random Souths Guy – clearly a relative of some description.”

The image is very old and the historian refuses to let us take a photo for this story fearing any additional light will erode the paper.

“You can see he has been mummified by something and you can actually see the Smith’s Crisps and Rabbitohs logo carved into the rock.

 

Reagan and Random Souths Guy – best mates!

 

“We believe Random Souths Guy lived with the dinosaurs.”

If that wasn’t hard enough to believe (because this whole story is totes legitimate and we pinkie promise we’re not making this up), the historian then shows us two amazingly historic images.

“There’s evidence Random Souths Guy worked as an advisor to President Reagan and the pair became quite close. You can see Random Souths Guy in an original photograph taken from Reagan’s famous Berlin Wall speech but there was only ever one shot taken because the Secret Service pulled him from the stage after they received a tip-off about an assassination attempt. They weren’t worried about the President. If you listen closely to Reagan’s speech, right at the end, he quickly adds: “glory, glory to South Sydney.

“There is also the story that Random Souths Guy was actually the first man on the moon – ahead of the Americans and Russians.”

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